April 22, 2011
11:41 AM feminism , gender , objectification , sexism , sexualisation , sexuality , Society , thoughts
I read a post today on The Sexy Feminist about how women are struggling with their sexuality in a world that is dictating it for them. We are told how to be sexy in everything in society - television, books, magazines, even pornography is telling us - and the men we love - what it is that makes women attractive and sexy.
This results in our men forming fantasies about us based on women they are attracted to in film and media, and, if they're brave enough, requesting us to fulfil their fantasies. Invariably, however, simply because the women in the media are not real, we actually feel rather uncomfortable walking around in Daisy Duke's shorts or without panties like in Basic Instinct, or in the sky-high stilettos the porn stars love to wear. I don't mean to generalise, because I know that some women do enjoy these things, but the vast majority of women really just want to be comfortable.
More importantly, they just want to be comfortable with themselves. They want to feel sexy just as they are - being skinnier is on practically every woman's to-do list. Why? Because the models in the media are not normal, and they are obviously more attractive, right? They are the women both men and women look to in order to find out what is attractive. But any woman will tell you that when their man looks at them with love in their eyes, it really doesn't matter how pretty or sexy you are in comparison to these other women. Love transcends that.
More often than not, the fantasies are more about whether or not men can have what they want than because they really want it. They are, after all, told that it's what men want.
So what are we to do? I have to say that I think communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. You need to be able to talk to your partner about everything. Talk about fantasies, talk about comfort, talk about everything.
April 21, 2011
'Zenzele - A Letter For My Daughter' is a novel that really makes your brain race around in circles.
The story is basically a letter written by a Zimbabwean mother to her daughter, who is leaving the safety of Zimbabwe for the international world. In it, she speaks of many things - love, religion, that sixth sense we all aim to have - but mostly it is about how Zenzele needs to remember her place as an African - more specifically, as an African who is not oppressed.
The reason the novel takes my brain in circles is because I am faced with a terrible dilemma whenever I read novels protesting against colonialism. This is because I am a white person living in a country that previously oppressed the majority of its population, but I share none of the stereotypical views expressed in these novels - they annoy me to tears sometimes - and yet I am faced with people every day who believe in those stereotypes.
It breaks my heart to read about the characters' experiences - the story about Zenzele's cousin Tinawo, who worked hard at school to earn a white dress with pink flowers, only to see her mother chased out of the shop by the white owner because they didn't serve black people, was particularly poignant, and made me feel embarrassed to top it off.
This is the sad legacy that the oppressors have not only left behind for the black Africans, but also for the white Africans of South Africa: those who had nothing to do with the colonialism are still viewed as the oppressor but slowly become more and more like that which we tried so hard to abolish decades ago - both sides will always accuse the other of racism - there will always be an assumption that one side is trying to oppress the other simply because of this joint history that we share in this country - there will always be this feeling of hatred and fear.
More than anything Zenzele has saddened me, because there are assumptions about both white people and black people that will never disappear, simply because they're right there - staring me, and all other readers, in the face every time we open the novel.
However, Zenzele does leave me with a sense of hope - the final chapter is all about love and how it brings people together. I truly hope that South Africans can become entwined together like the lovers' tree in the story so we can truly build a beautiful country together.
April 15, 2011
One day I would love to see the aurora borealis.
It must be one of the most beautiful sights in the world. Apart from lightning and other weather phenomenon in showing us how powerful the earth and nature is, I would suppose that the aurora borealis, or the northern lights, would be one of the things that show you how beautiful nature is.
Nate Bolt was lucky enough to get a unique time lapse of the aurora - Bolt wasn't looking for it, which makes the video he made all the more unique and special.
Here it is:
April 14, 2011
Czech President Vaclav Klaus was being torn apart by the media on Wednesday after a clip appeared of him pocketing a pen.
Although afterwards a spokesperson for the conference that was held in Chile said protocol allowed him to take the pen, as they are meant as souvenirs for presidents and other delegates, the President couldn't help looking like a naughty boy as the clip shows him first admiring the pen, and then pocketing it.
I'd like to know that if delegates are allowed to take pens, why did he feel the need to take it so discreetly? Made me giggle this.
April 13, 2011
13 April 2011
I'm an advocate of Barbie being a bad role model for children.
Yes, despite growing up with at least five Barbie dolls myself. Including one that could be pregnant or not depending on whether it matched your imagined storyline or not.
I'm an advocate of Barbie being a bad role model for children. But under the incorrect circumstances. That is, if there is a parent involved in the child's life ready to impart their approval on their child whether they look like Barbie or not, that's a good step.
And a Barbie like this would be great as well!
Barbie wearing Christian Dior's "New Look" is demure and classy without the extra long hair and Miami clothing; and without the Bratz-like inability to breathe through her nose. Her jewellery even matches ... right up to her earrings.
She's beautiful! What do you think?
Via We Heart Vintage
April 12, 2011
Anyway, here's a quick look at some of my favourite blog posts from recent days (or weeks - as the case may be!)
I loved Miss Mustard Seed's Tissue Paper pom-poms - I'm in two minds about making strings and strings of them and filling the ceiling in our spare room with their colourfulness.
I saw a photograph this morning of a teen girl's bedroom, and it was so colourful and young, and I feel like I need to bring some of that brightness into my home!
Besides, the spare room is so bland...wonder if Shaun will mind too much!
The link above will take you to the tutorial.
Anyway, the ring is being given away by the lovely Luscious Lockets, so enter the competition now!
Here 'i do' it yourself shows you how to make papel picado, where designs are cut out of tissue paper and suspended.
Another possibility for my spare room's ceiling? Perhaps I should do them both! What say you?
Finally, something fun needs to be thrown into my mix!
here for more.
They actually look a little disgusting; I suppose it's because they've sat for a while. And to think there are children out there who've never tasted a banana at all.
Oh, the spoilt lives we lead!