A personal blog with craft tutorials, reviews of books, films, and music, parenting advice, and opinions on society and politics.

September 17, 2011

Sex and success

1 comment :
17 September 2011

I consider whether women's use of sexual capital is not good for society ...
Before I hit puberty, I became intensely aware of my feminine body - I was an early bloomer, and concurrently I developed a self-esteem issue too early. I was aware of being observed - not by boys, yet - but by girls, and to this day I am undecided as to whether it was jealousy that inspired their observations or a desire to shame me. I am, however, today thankful for this scrutiny, for, although it created insecurity through most of my young life, it also brought with it shyness, and this meant that I never made use of my feminine wiles, as they say, to achieve anything.

Even today I am the little-noticed quiet type of the office, and I overdress every day - literally wearing pants and covering everything up. Yet, I'd like to regard myself as being relatively successful for my scant ambitions.

I have in the past shown concern for the manner in which the young children of today are being brainwashed to behave a certain way by the media, television, music and toys, and worry about my children growing up in a society that is so sexually-advanced that children as young as 10 are already sexually active at a time in their lives where I was still playing with toys.


Particularly in cases of young women, they are shown that being beautiful and sexy is the only way to gain respect in any way, and a new novel, called "Honey Money", is urging women to use their sexuality to their advantage. It states that women should use their "erotic capital" to improve their situations. Author Catherine Hakim adds that, although women and men both have erotic capital, the former can use their's more successfully merely because men have something called a "sexual deficit" - men's supposed weakness against the beauty of women and the sex that they offer.

I agree with The Good Men Project's Hugo Schwyzer. Hakim is not just insulting women by saying that the only way they can gain any respect in the business world or anywhere is by exploiting their sexual capital. She is also insulting men by perpetuating the myth that men are all panty-chasers ready to shed their clothes for the first bit of action offered up by any woman.

My argument in any debate about whether men have a genetic predisposition to sowing their wild oats any- and everywhere - which is one of the reasons more than one partner is so acceptable for men - is that, sure, we evolved from the ape, from a wild animal and so still have the genetic calling to procreate to save the species; but the entire point is that we have evolved. There is so much more to the human than there is to the ape - such as having a conscience and being able to surpass these primitive requirements to meet other requirements, such as companionship and partnership and love.

This promulgation of the line of thinking that men are just sex-hungry all the time is one of the most damaging of our time, I'd think - as damaging as telling your little girl that she's so pretty that she'll get to marry a rich man one day. It is one of the reasons, in my opinion, that people today are so unhappy, in general. Women are constantly told that they need to be beautiful for success, and men are constantly told that their sexual desire will get them anything they want. This has created a perpetual lack in our society - because no one can encounter success no matter what they do. Women will never look as beautiful as they want, and men are constantly trying to match up to the 007-life - women, women everywhere.

Where do you think we've gone wrong?


{[Image from Photostock; FreeDigitalPhotos}

1 comment :

Outsourced Communications said...

As the mother of a teenager - it is alarming how this warped belief is learnt at such a young age thanks to the bollocks that they are exposed to through movies and TV.
It is a sad indictment of society when ones intelligence is undermined in favour of low cut tops and shirt skirts. Insulting to men and women alike.
Great post, thank you.